How to make decisions without getting stressed.
We all have our indecisive moments, don’t we?
I genuinely do not know anyone that is more indecisive than myself. It is extremely annoying. I’ll go the shop to get a drink, and find myself in front of shelves and shelves of different items, and not know which one to choose and end up completely overwhelmed and in a state of panic.
Even if I fancy something specific I will see the selection of many other drinks and panic. I will scan my eyes over all the other choices, and umm and ahh for what feels like forever until I just have to make a choice. (Either my lunch break is running out, or I am in someone’s way). I honestly just can’t make up my mind. It gets worse when I feel pressured, like if I don’t have a lot of time. My eyes just dart around and I end up picking up the nearest thing and then walking out of the shop disappointed that I didn’t get something else. When I talk to my friends about it they all say they are exactly the same so that’s comfort at least. I’m a Gemini and far from superstitious about things but the question of ‘why are Geminis indecisive?’ has been asked many times so that does make feel slightly better that it could be a star sign kinda thing…
I think we all struggle making decisions from time to time.
If you think that’s bad enough, you can imagine what I am like with actual real decisions. Several years ago I had two job offers. I have never felt more panicked and anxious in my life. I had to decide what I wanted within two days, whilst giving up my current job at the same time. I handed in my notice to get that out of the way, and then I sat down and wrote out all the pros and cons of each job I had been offered. It was hard but in the end, I went with my gut and accepted one of them. I knew I had made the right decision straight away (thank god!) but for that short period of time when I was trying to decide it was unbearable.
I’m still fairly useless at knowing what I want and what choice to make, however big or small the decision is but I have got an awful lot better at choosing.
What I have learnt with decision making is to ask yourself:
1. ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ That can help to put your mind at ease and make you feel more relaxed about the situation in hand.
2. ‘What do I want?’ Don’t think about everybody else and what they would say. This is your decision and you should go with your gut instinct or whatever you feel is the right answer. Thinking about others reactions will make the decision longer and more difficult because of your need to please others will be put before your own feelings.
3. ‘Can I clear my mind of other things for a minute?’ Try not to think too much. The first thing that pops into your head, is normally what you will end up going with. If you think too much then loads of other things will pop into your head leaving you with too many choices and possible answers, and it will be impossible to choose.
4. ‘Is this decision really that important and am I wasting my time trying to decide?’ If it’s something as simple as choosing what film to watch or what to eat, if you can’t decide within say 10-15 minutes or so then is it worth it?
If all else fails, try the coin toss trick. It works wonders!
If you’re unfamiliar with this, when making a decision with two answers have a coin at hand and assign one answer to heads and one to tails. Flip the coin and whatever side is visible when it lands is the answer you go for. It’s quick, simple and takes away the choice for you.
HINT: The outcome of the coin toss trick isn’t even the reason it works so well. When the coin is in the air there will be a part of you silently wishing the coin will land on a particular side so you get the outcome that deep down you really want whether you know it or not. Try it.
Thinking too long about something is usually the reason that it doesn’t get done. I believe being indecisive is a sign of lack of confidence. It can also be seen as needing reassurance or depending on others more than usual.
So try not to overthink too much and 9/10 go with your initial reaction. Have confidence in yourself and go for it!
How indecisive are you? Do you have any other tips to share?